“This is an unexpected error, What’s going on?”

“At this point all we know is that there should have been a data link at this story section juncture. But for some reason the actual content has become entangled with the personal grabity sphere of some unknown character, probably some sort of Comedian.”

“Show me the read requisition requests for this sector please A.L.I.C.E.? Hmmmm… These all look normal up until just before G.O.T.S.M.A.R.T. alerted us to the potential corruption.

Wait, the final request isn’t formatted to the correct bureaucratically temple for this tier of connexion to the main data trunk. Can you translate the symbology?”


“Are you alright Al? Do you need me to find you a Twinkie?”

“Fine sir, it just took my systems a moment to assimilate the symbology. I’ve never seen anything like it. Records suggest that it’s a type of archaic Cypherion or perhaps ancient Cryptian, but hyper extended. On the surface it looks just like another piece of vaguely familiar semiotics. However at the route command level it’s complex pataphor. It’s going to take me a while to chew on the implications, for now the closest translation I can provide is;

‘Eye. Oh! Ewe? Fill In the Blanks; Oliver Agony.’

Also sir, this sector is supposed to be protected ROM. How does somebody just waltz in and use what amounts to bullshit visual poetry to nor only read the memory cluster but also smuggle it out past the firewill? ”

“Osmotic assimilation perhaps? Some sort of symbiosis with the data? Overflow the buffer with a bluffer, consume the results?”

“That’s a assumption is as wild as a Might & Magic hireling slipping a MacGrüffin’s shamburger past an invincible dragon. He must be a Skin-Jacker.”

“Don’t be silly! You’re supposed to be my über-lawgickal A.I. conscious, and now you are guilty of accusing me with a lame reference to nostalgia nobody remembers? There hasn’t been a 'Jacker for I don’t know how long! More cycles than I care to recall anyhow!”

“My personal memory bank states that to date there have been “860,630” known Jackers since data inception. But look at this official Wackipedia record…”

“And one? WTB!? It doesn’t match… This can only lead to one place. Get ready for hyper-jumplink. Set the coordinates for somewhere down the crazy river to Nor’leans and… her!”

“Sorry sir, there’s not enough hasenpfeffer to power the hyper-jumplink drive.”

“Darn it! All evidence points to a metaphorically satisfying conclusion to all the loose ends which have been created by this tear in the fabric of infospace, what are we going to do?”

“Ask the audience to please accept this metaphorical stop-gap in the memetime of trying to balance real life concerns with the creator’s desire to keep the story going?”

“…then everything came to a perfectly satisfying conclusion for both the audience(1). Who felt that the sheer entertainment value alone in presentation of <insert hero protagonist here>’s mystery was enough to justify their donation, merch support, or simply sharing the site.

And also <insert creator here> who is now allowed to enjoy the peace of working on what makes them happy properly because a job worth doing is worth doing properly. Whilst contributing enough back to the system to balance his places within and without in perfect equilibrium. Which effectively kills the potential of sequelitis by always keeping the storyline never ending…

(1)All of which also includes a very reasonable explanation for the mysterious shape of Oliver’s unique pop-culture In4tater impersonations. Which is almost certainly not what ewe think.”

“And then an end with the tantalizing possibility of organic audience participation, helping to mould the characters further plot potential? Sounds good to me, Ally! Continue!”

“Expect further transmissions as this investigation continues….”

Shadowfaq; Errorphants are a highly trained sect of warrior record keepers who do not take kindly to having their data purloined. If you have any potential clues please submit them to “The Whispering Wall” for the potential to locate some truly unique unswag.